Anticipation is a crazy emotion. I usually feel sick to the stomach when I'm really working myself up for something - whether it be good or bad.
On a single day last week, there were 2 separate events I'd been anticipating:
1. reading Hemingway's "The Old Man and The Sea" and
2. going to the dentist for root canal therapy.
I had been meaning to read Hemingway for a very long time, so finally put it on hold at the library. When I got the notice it was at the library, it was 5 days before I could pick it up. I thought about it a lot - I love reading and "The Old Man and The Sea" is a classic, isn't it? Classic schmassic. I was bored witless reading it. All that anticipated pleasure quickly disappeared.
And the dentist. Well that was anticipated pain. Apparently the everyday dental anaesthesia isn't strong enough for me. Little wonder I've always found visits to the dentist excruciating. But it seemed doubly so when the dentist was working on the nerve in a tooth. Anyway, after 6 visits to the dentist in 8 days the team of dentists at the clinic finally figured it out and I was booked in for root canal. I was terrified. I anticipated unbearable pain. I expected to tough it out to just fix the bloody tooth. I anticipated fainting. I took Mark with me to share all this. But the dentist worked some magic (6 different lots of anaesthetic) and there was no pain. Unbelievable.
Apparently anticipation is a basic emotion in psycho evolutionary theory. I believe it. It's amazing how we (or is it just me?) can build things up in our mind to be far bigger and much greater than they are in real life.
peace and love